


Too hot for you

by Bokuaka_Iwaoi, cazoo



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: First Date, M/M, Nonsense, Satire, but its really funny, but someone had to steal it, cazoo actaully wrote this, cazoo is better, in a really dumb way, so read and kudos, this is messed up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 03:14:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9638531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bokuaka_Iwaoi/pseuds/Bokuaka_Iwaoi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazoo/pseuds/cazoo
Summary: I don't know what this is. Read it anyway.Basically Yuri and Otabek's first date gone wrong.





	

Yurio did not expect his first date to be like this.

Not only was it with a guy, but there also seemed to be his dads, their students, and a bunch of random people they worked with squeezed into the table right behind to them.

He just tried to keep his eyes on his date for the time being, although it was pretty difficult to ignore the 6 grown ass men squeezed into a tiny 2 person booth right behind Otabek. They were all wearing rather large trench coats in an array of colors, including Viktor’s neon pink one. Quite the eyesore if you asked Yurio. Their faces were covered in what seemed like the “6 Pack Bandanas for $1” deal he had recently seen at the local dollar store. Even their eyes had thick sunglasses over them.

Back to the main subject: The Date. Yurio’s face was a slight shade of pink, as it had been for whole day, ever since Viktor had waltzed into his room singing, “Gay or European,” and ending with a nice and happy, “We’re both gay and European!”

“Get up Yurio! It’s your first date!” Sometimes, it seemed to Yurio that Viktor was more excited about the date than he was.

As Yurio stared across the table at Otabek, he began to think about why he liked him in the first place. He was the first person other than his dads and his grandfather to truly worry about him. He was there next to him, although silent, when he needed another’s warmth the most.  
“And for you sir?” the waiter suddenly snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Uh, I’ll have this,” Yurio pointed at a random thing on the menu, not wanting to look dumb.

“You sure about that, son?” the middle aged waiter said, “It’s a dish for, well people with extreme tastes…”

“Of course. My decisions are always right,” Yurio replied. The waiter walked off with an even more worried glance.

“Um, Yurio,” Otabek cleared his throat, “Are you sure you wanted to order the ‘Warning: Use Caution on the Extreme Ultra Super Spicy and Terrible Tasting Dish’ dish? It probably won’t taste too good, judging upon that name.”

“What?!” Yurio said, suddenly regretting all his life. Stay composed, Yurio, he thought, you don’t want Otabek to think you’re weird right? Maybe this is a great opportunity to show Otabek how manly you are. “Yes, of course I can handle it.” Yurio said, somehow managing a grin.

The group of his dads and coworkers, strategically placed so that Otabek couldn’t see them, had already ordered, seeing as they had been camped out at the restaurant ever since 9 in the morning. Every time they had been kicked out they just came back in with a different costume and ordered the same small serving of “lemon water” to share between the 6 of them.

As Yurio and Otabek were finally getting somewhere in their “smalltalk,” the waiter came with their food.

“An American Cheeseburger for you,” the waiter said, placing a normal looking platter in front of Otabek, “and a ‘Warning: Use Caution on the Extreme Ultra Super (dank) Spicy (memes) and Terrible Tasting Dish’ for this young man.

Yurio gawked at the mess placed in front of him. A red slimy substance was all glopped in a large tin bucket with pieces of unidentifiable meat floating around it. Yurio hand wobbled as he forced himself to eat a spoonful of that shit. When the spoon touched the tip of his tongue, his face immediately filled with all shades of red and his face caught on fire. Otabek chuckled as he quietly nibbled on his burger and behind him, all of the grown ups had cracked up and crying tears of laughter. Viktor was on the ground because he was laughing so much and had been asked multiple times if he was having a seizure.

“Do you want to go get some ice cream?” Otabek casually said while Yurio sprinted in circles around the restaurant, still on fire. Otabek quietly left the restaurant, carrying the a still struggling Yurio.

“The bill’s on those creepy guys by the way,” Otabek gently motioned towards the booth of trench coats as he closed the door of the restaurant.

Outside, Otabek, placed Yurio down in an alley corner. Yurio was still a bit red from the taste he had of the dish, slightly Better now.

“I like when your face is like that,” Otabek grinned as he pressed his lips onto Yurio. Yurio reddened more from surprise and his eyes widened.

Otabek leaned into Yurio ear and whispered, almost so that Yurio couldn’t hear, “That kiss sure was spicy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment and a kudos if you enjoyed!
> 
> thanks for reading <3


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